Me, the tree in IT

Lees in het Nederlands

It was the spring of 2020 when I posted this somewhat strange question on facebook: “Can this girl work in IT?”. My plans to travel Europe were abruptly canceled due to the coronavirus. I suddenly had to decide what I was going to do instead. The renewed knowledge in myself that I would be able to learn almost anything if I would put my mind to it and the new learned knowledge that IT can be way more creative and diverse than I always thought gave me the motivation to see if I could succeed in IT.

I received so much messages and help from friends that I dared to take the leap. Not long after, I started working as a software tester. I had to learn a lot about the software I had to test, but I could quickly start to do the first real tests. I had a lot of fun learning the ropes of this new world. Not to toot my own horn, but I was quite good at it, especially for someone who never worked in IT before.

It was the first time in my life that I really was using my brain at full capacity. For a while I really enjoyed noticing that I could challenge myself so much. However, once I noticed that I was  struggling to create for my blog, I realized that there was no space left for my creativity. I couldn’t connect with nature as I was used to doing for so long. That was so hard to deal with. So when my employer decided to not give me a new contract I was relieved in a way. Looking forward to spending some time outside, looking forward to putting time into my blog again.

All in all I can say that my venture into the world of IT was a success. Besides learning a new trade, I also learned more about myself.

Every new thing I do makes me grow.

I’m not a big tree yet but my branches are already spread wide. I know that I won’t grow very tall, however discovering in what directions I can grow will most likely be my style of becoming a big tree. I’ll be that tree that is wider than it is tall and that’s fine by me. The only struggle I’m facing is that most trees around me are the types that grow tall, some narrower than others, but all taller than that they are wide.

Since it’s in my nature that I compare myself, I know most of us do, I often longingly look at all the tall trees and wish that I could grow tall too. I know I’m the type of tree that doesn’t grow tall and really don’t want to grow tall, but it’s hard to do something so completely different from everyone around me. I’m lucky that many of my friends and family accept me for the wide tree I am. Some don’t understand what type of tree I am. They tell me I should grow tall just like all the other trees. When I explain that I grow faster than many others, just not in the upwards direction they tell me I should just try harder to grow upwards instead.

I know this will be my lifelong struggle, not listening when I’m told to grow tall and learning to be proud of growing these branches in all these directions.

Right now I’m searching for a new patch of blue sky to grow towards. I see a few different directions but I’m having trouble deciding. By spending a lot of time in nature I’m hoping to find one direction that has my strongest preference. When I’ve decided, I know I’ll grow fast in a new direction once again.

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